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Cognitive Dissonance: The hidden psychological cause of stress and relationship contrary
Cognitive Dissonance: The hidden psychological cause of stress and relationship contrary.
Have you ever felt conflicted about your partner or your relationship? Maybe you love them, but sometimes you don’t like them. Maybe you want to be with them but also want to be alone. Maybe you agree with them on some things but disagree on others.
If you’re in any stage of your life experiencing these feelings, please understand that you are not alone. You are experiencing what is called Cognitive Dissonance, a psychological phenomenon that occurs when we hold two or more contradictory thoughts or beliefs at the same time.
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In this article, we would be going into detail about what Cognitive Dissonance is and how it really affects our relationship with others and our loved ones at large.
Table of Contents
Cognitive dissonance has been proven to be the cause of human discomfort, anxiety, and confusion, which also hugely affects our behaviours and how we make decisions in our relationships.
What Is Cognitive Dissonance?
Cognitive dissonance was first proposed by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1957. He defined it as “the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs” (Festinger, 1957).
A very typical example of how cognitive dissonance works can be related to this, if you believe that smoking is bad for your health, but you still smoke, you may experience cognitive dissonance. To reduce this discomfort, you may try to gradually change your behaviour (quit smoking), change your belief (smoking is not that bad), or justify your behaviour (smoking helps me relax).
I feel the need to address this psychological menace that has robbed haunted human thoughtful exorbitant.
Cognitive dissonance can also occur when our actions do not match our self-image or values. For example, if you see yourself as an honest person, but you lie to your partner, you may experience cognitive dissonance. To reduce this discomfort, you may try to change your behaviour (stop lying), change your self-image (I am not always honest), or justify your behaviour (I lied for a good reason).
This psychological menace can also occur when we receive new information that challenges our existing beliefs or expectations. For example, if you believe that your partner is faithful, but you find out that they cheated on you, you may experience cognitive dissonance. To reduce this discomfort, you may try to change your belief (my partner is not faithful), change the information (they did not cheat on me), or justify the information (they cheated on me because of me).
How Does Cognitive Dissonance Affect Our Relationship?
As cognitive dissonance could be psychologically disturbing, it also has positive effects on our relationship. Bear in mind that it causes more negative effects though. On one hand, it can motivate us to grow and learn from our partners and ourselves. It can help us resolve conflicts and improve communication. It can also help us appreciate our partner’s differences and uniqueness.
Looking at things from another angle, cognitive dissonance can cause us to want to shun, avoid or even deny reality. It can make us defensive and resistant to change. It can also make us rationalize or justify our partner’s flaws or mistakes.
Cognitive dissonance can also affect our attraction and commitment to our partner. According to the balance theory of attraction (Heider, 1958), we tend to like people who share our attitudes and beliefs and dislike people who oppose them. Therefore, when we experience cognitive dissonance with our partners, we may feel less attracted and committed to them.
However, according to the investment model of commitment (Rusbult, 1980), we tend to stay in a relationship when we have invested a lot of resources (time, money, emotions) into it and when we perceive few alternatives. Therefore, when we experience cognitive dissonance with our partners, we may feel more committed to them.
Having understood how cognitive dissonance affects our relationship lifestyle, here comes how to cope and survive the menace;
How Can We Cope With Cognitive Dissonance?
Cognitive dissonance is inevitable in any relationship. However, it does not have to be harmful or destructive. Here are some tips on how to cope with cognitive dissonance in a healthy and constructive way:
– Be aware of your thoughts and feelings. Recognize when you are experiencing cognitive dissonance and what triggers it.
– Be open-minded and curious. Try to understand your partner’s perspective and why they think or act differently from you.
– Be respectful and empathetic. Do not judge or criticize your partner for having different beliefs or behaviours from you.
– Be honest and authentic. Do not lie or hide your true thoughts or feelings from your partner.
– Be flexible and adaptable. Be willing to change your behaviour or belief if it is harmful or irrational.
– Be supportive and cooperative. Work together with your partner to find a solution or compromise that satisfies both of you.
If you found this article helpful, please kindly share it with others. Cheers
Pen Gossiper
President Tinubu honoured 50 Nigerians on Democracy Day 2026, including Dasuki, Joe Igbokwe and Dele Alake. See the full list and what it means.
On 12 June 2026, President Bola Tinubu conferred national honours on 50 Nigerians described as key figures in the country’s pro-democracy struggle.
The announcement was made during the 2026 Democracy Day address, which commemorates the annulled 12 June 1993 presidential election. Honourees include journalists, civil rights activists, and military officers.
President Bola Tinubu conferred national honours on 50 prominent Nigerians on Friday, 12 June 2026. The honourees were recognised as central participants in the nation’s pro-democracy movement, a campaign that opposed military dictatorship throughout the 1990s.
The announcement formed part of the president’s nationwide 2026 Democracy Day address. Democracy Day marks the anniversary of the 12 June 1993 presidential election, a poll widely regarded as the freest in Nigerian history before its annulment by the military government of the period.
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This article outlines the context of the awards, identifies the categories of honourees, names notable recipients such as Sambo Dasuki, Joe Igbokwe, and Oladele Alake, and explains the next steps in the conferment process.
Why did Tinubu confer the national honours on 12 June 2026?
The conferment is tied directly to Democracy Day, an annual observance commemorating the 12 June 1993 presidential election. President Tinubu used the occasion to recognise individuals identified as central figures in Nigeria’s transition from military rule to civilian democracy.
In his address, the president stated that the honourees suffered persecution in the course of the pro-democracy struggle. He noted that many endured indignities, exile, incarceration, and, at times, solitary confinement so that Nigeria could enjoy democratic governance today.
The recognition therefore functions as both a historical acknowledgement and a formal state honour, linking the sacrifices of the 1990s to the present democratic order.
Who are the notable recipients of the national honours?
The honours list comprises several categories of recipients, including journalists, civil rights leaders, legal practitioners, and senior military officers. Among the most widely recognised names are the following:
- Oladele Alake, a long-standing public figure in Nigerian governance and media.
- Joe Igbokwe, a prominent political activist and commentator.
- Colonel Sambo Dasuki, a senior military officer included in the soldier-democrats category.
- Dr Joe Okei-Odumakin, a recognised civil rights campaigner.
- Dr Arthur Nwankwo (posthumous), honoured for his role in the democratic struggle.
- Ben Charles-Obi (posthumous), recognised among the journalists and activists.
The inclusion of posthumous awards reflects the state’s intention to acknowledge contributors who did not survive to witness the present democratic dispensation.
What categories of honourees were recognised?
The honours list is organised into two broad groupings. The first comprises journalists, lawyers, academics, and civil rights leaders. The second comprises military officers designated as “soldier-democrats”.
Journalists, lawyers, and civil rights leaders
This grouping recognises individuals who advanced the pro-democracy cause through media, advocacy, and legal channels. Named recipients include:
- Barrister Ayoka Lawani
- Tunde Fagbenle
- Oladele Alake
- Olatunji Bello
- Louis Odion
- Segun Babatope
- Sam Omatseye
- Sir Ademola Osinubi
- Bola Bolawole
- Lade Bonuola
- Femi Kusa
- Debo Adeniran
- Chief Ayo Opadokun
- Chief Ralph Obiora
- Ose Osayande
- Barrister Osa Director
- Professor Sylvester Odion-Akhaine
- Dr Arthur Nwankwo (posthumous)
- Dr Osagie Obayuwana
- Dr Joe Okei-Odumakin
- Barrister Titus Mann
- Joe Igbokwe
- Richard Akinnola
- Ben Charles-Obi (posthumous)
- George Mbah
- Dr Niran Malaolu
- Major-General Ishola Williams (retired)
- Femi Aborisade
- Jenkins Alumona
- Gbemiga Ogunleye
- Muyiwa Adekeye
- Babajide Kolade-Otitoju
- Ike Okonta
Soldier-democrats
This grouping recognises military officers associated with resistance to military dictatorship. Named recipients include:
- Major-General M. A. Garba
- Brigadier-General Lawal Jaafaru Isa
- Colonel Umar Farouk Ahmed
- Colonel Sambo Dasuki
- Colonel Lawan Gwadabe
- Brigadier Jonathan Ndam Temlong
- Colonel Musa Shehu
- Major-General Chris Eze
- Major-General Harris Dzarma
- Colonel Isa Jibrin
- Major-General Joseph Oshanupin
- Colonel Olusegun Oloruntoba, Olugbede of Gbede Kingdom
- Lieutenant-Colonel Happy Kefas Bulus
- Colonel J. Okai
- Colonel Emmanuel Ndubueze
- Lieutenant-Colonel Yakubu Muazu
- Brigadier Yahaya Abubakar, the current Etsu Nupe and existing holder of the CFR title
When will the awards be formally presented?
The president stated that the formal presentation and conferment of the awards will be carried out in the coming days. According to the address, the full honours list will be released within the next few days.
The announcement therefore represents the declaration stage of the process rather than the formal investiture, which is scheduled to follow.
What does this conferment signify for Nigeria?
The 2026 Democracy Day honours connect the historical pro-democracy struggle to contemporary national recognition. By including journalists, activists, lawyers, and military officers, the awards acknowledge a broad spectrum of contributors to Nigeria’s civilian transition.
The presence of posthumous awards further underlines the state’s intention to honour participants across generations, including those who did not live to see the present democratic order.
Frequently asked questions
How many Nigerians received national honours on Democracy Day 2026?
President Bola Tinubu conferred national honours on 50 Nigerians during the 2026 Democracy Day address on 12 June 2026.
Why is 12 June significant in Nigeria?
12 June marks the anniversary of the 1993 presidential election, which was annulled by the military government of the time. The date is now observed as Nigeria’s Democracy Day.
Who are the most notable recipients of the 2026 national honours?
Notable recipients include Oladele Alake, Joe Igbokwe, Colonel Sambo Dasuki, and Dr Joe Okei-Odumakin, alongside posthumous honourees such as Dr Arthur Nwankwo and Ben Charles-Obi.
Were any awards conferred posthumously?
Yes. Posthumous honours were conferred on Dr Arthur Nwankwo and Ben Charles-Obi in recognition of their contributions to the pro-democracy struggle.
When will the national honours be formally presented?
President Tinubu stated that the formal presentation and conferment will take place in the coming days, with the full honours list to be released shortly after the announcement.
A short-statured Ghanaian woman has sparked online debate after making contentious remarks regarding her romantic relationship preferences.
During a recent interview with De God Son TV, the diminutive lady expressed her aversion to dating guys of shorter height despite her diminutive Ghanaian woman. She remarked that short men do not match her “specifications” for relationships.
When questioned about her explanation, she stated that she sees shorter men as resembling infants, even though they are adults.
“I have a 7-year-old son, so dating a short man feels like dating my son,” she explained, finding parallels between her personal and romantic lives.
Watch the video below.
Once again, Nigerian singer Davido has made headlines for proving his status as a rich man with two luxury cars entering Nigeria: a Rolls-Royce and a Tesla Cybertruck.
The musician posted a picture of the trip on social media, his pure white Rolls Royce parked on the runway, ready for shipment.
Another photo depicted the Tesla Cybertruck being loaded into an aircraft to verify the truck’s arrival in Nigeria.
Cubana Chief Priest, another close associate and entrepreneur, also saluted the new cars with an Instagram image. He congratulated Davido on his feats, dubbed him the “GOAT,” and hinted at a festive December with new vehicles added to the singer’s collection.
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Mariam
10/05/2023 at 19:13
This was an excellent write up. Now I can a name to the feeling I experience occasionally. Weldone pen gossiper
Pen Gossiper
10/05/2023 at 20:04
Thanks, Mariam. A couple of times we get stuck in the middle of confusion. I hope this piece of information help out going forward
Arinze Chima Uzoezie
10/05/2023 at 21:23
This is an interesting article
Pen Gossiper
10/05/2023 at 22:36
Am really glad you like it
Maria Abraham
10/05/2023 at 21:50
Beautiful write up. Very insightful and easy to understand.
Pen Gossiper
10/05/2023 at 22:36
Thanks alot
Eniola
10/05/2023 at 22:42
Very insightful! Well done Pen Gossiper, rooting for you 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Pen Gossiper
11/05/2023 at 00:08
Thanks alot my dear Eniola
drover sointeru
29/10/2024 at 11:37
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Pen Gossiper
29/10/2024 at 12:10
Thanks for your time and comment.
Sure, we have a contact page.
https://femotech.com.ng/contact-us/